Guest & Contest: JA Coffey

Finding the One: The Top Three Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate

One of the basic tenets of romance is the concept of finding your perfect soulmate. Romance fiction is the perfect way to analyze relationships in order to determine the top three signs you’ve found yours.

They just “get” you. As Jerry Maguire so eloquently proclaimed “You complete me.” Soulmates fill in each other’s blanks. Have you ever felt a connection to someone who seems to understand you, even if you don’t understand yourself? In history, Aristophanes (by way of Plato’s Symposium) is credited with the concept of Split Aparts. He stated that men and women were originally a single being, with four arms, four legs and one head with two sides. Those super beings were ultra-powerful and threatened the existence of the gods who punished them by tearing them in half and sewing them up. Thus, he supposed, humanity was doomed to forever long for his/her other half, for the completion of his/her soul. When the two Split Aparts find each other, there is an unspoken and instant connection to one another.

Story Mastery guru Michael Hague calls this recognizing one’s essence. In a relationship, your soulmate sees beyond the trappings of your persona, your passions and interests, to the core of your true being—the essence of who you are as a person. It’s the magical connection of recognizing one’s soul that draws two people inexorably together. It is because of this connection that we experience the sensation of completeness.

They’ve seen you at your worst and they love you anyways. William Shakespeare wrote that “the course of true love never did run smooth.” That is doubly true in great romance! Your soulmate recognizes both your charms and your faults and loves you for them. True love is not being in a constant state of bliss, in fact, quite often in good romance, it’s overcoming the challenges that makes the relationship stronger. Soulmates recognize the benefits inherent in each other’s flaws. For example, a stubborn hero is often a natural leader with good decision-making skills. A wildly passionate heroine is often the most creative and compassionate of people, too. Soulmates respect each other’s differences. They take the good with the bad, because they accept you for who you truly are and help you to become the person you were meant to be.

They make you want to be a better person. In “As Good As It Gets”, the somewhat reprehensible Melvin Udall says “You make me want to be a better man” to which Carol replies “That may be the best compliment of my life.” And it is. Soulmate recognition in a romance novel is essential because together our hero and heroine are stronger and better than they could ever be apart. It’s that togetherness that allows them to storm the castle, save the world, and live happily ever after content with the knowledge that they have found the other half that makes the strange and sometimes difficult journey through life worthwhile.

In this excerpt from Book 3 of my Southern Seductions series, HELL ON HEELS, the hero and heroine have a very rocky past and are forced to work together to bring a crime cartel to justice. There’s a pivotal moment of recognition, when their relationship changes from working together to becoming soulmates. Here’s a taste:

“Is that what’s bothering you?” He pulled her closer, expecting her to push him away. The skin of her upper arms was so soft under his hands. Her sweet sunshiny coconut scent invaded his nostrils. “You think I’m playing?”

“I’ve spent years hating you for something you never did.” She wet her lips, but she didn’t pull away. “Now, I find myself looking at you differently and that scares me.”

He didn’t answer, just leaned in and placed his mouth on hers. She melted beneath his touch, molding her luscious form against his. Electric shocks ran down his spine as he allowed himself the senseless pleasure of kissing her the way he’d dreamt of every night since this summer. Far too soon for either of them, he broke it off, marveling at the desire simmering in her eyes.

“I like the way you look at me now, Caroline. I don’t think you’re faking it for the team or the cartel. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you don’t want me,” he dared her. Caroline wasn’t the kind of girl to back down.

“I don’t want you.” She was being stubborn and they both knew it.

“I don’t believe you. You see me, Caroline. You see who and what I really am, don’t you?” There was no way he was letting her off that easily. “And you want it.”


Whether you believe in the concept of Split Aparts, these three signs are a strong indication that the person you love was meant to be yours. At the end of the day, there’s a peace in your soul and a comfort in the knowledge that they are by your side. So, tell us, have you found the one? How did you know? Comment below to be eligible to win!


watching the clockJ.A. Coffey writes both sizzling and heartwarming contemporary romance and lush, gritty historical fiction with emotionally compelling characters that stay with you long after you turn the last page.

A complete cupcake addict, when she isn’t writing or reading, she can be found in trying to convert her front lawn to an edible landscape, test baking desserts, or “feathering her nest” with spruced up flea market finds. J.A. is currently working on her latest novel and trying not to get cupcake batter on her keyboard.  Get free stories and 99¢ new releases:

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25 thoughts on “Guest & Contest: JA Coffey

  1. Laney4 says:

    We’re coming up on our 35th wedding anniversary. Still hold hands. Still have twinkles in our eyes. You betcha we’re lucky to have found each other! (Never take anything for granted!)

  2. I’m still on the hunt! 😀 I don’t have a specific set of qualities but if I’m in it for the long-run, I’d look for humor, honesty, and compassion.

  3. Casie B. says:

    Yes I think I have found the one, we have been together for about 13 months and I couldn’t be happier. I knew within the first few months 🙂

  4. Carol L says:

    We found each other.I think soulmates just pull each other in. We have much in common and just being together is a comforting feeling.
    Carol L

  5. anne says:

    Yes, we are soulmates and I am fortunate to have found someone who thinks like I do and is there for me. Many years and countless experiences.

    • Love can find you when you least expect it. I think sometimes we get too focused on finding something that we lose the chance to find it. Keep your head on straight and your heart open, Sherry!

  6. Leanna says:

    Not yet, but I have hope that I will. I need a man that smart, sensitive and understands my medical issues.

  7. Kathy Davis says:

    I have found the one, and it was love at first sight. I looked at him, and I knew. We’ve been married 30 years.

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