In her professional life, Shary Hauer was a confident, successful, high-caliber executive coach who advised big-time corporate leaders around the globe—but her personal life was an entirely different matter. When it came to love, she was insecure, clingy, desperate, willing to do anything and everything to win and keep a man. Because without a man by her side, what good was she?
Review: Is there such a thing as a love addiction? Author Shary Hauer recounts her story of obsessiveness in Insatiable: A Memoir of Love Addiction.
The idea of using relationships as a drug is something I had never really considered as possible. However, in the author’s though-provoking account of her experiences with marriage, divorce and dating, it’s clear that there is a pattern.
As the writer details her “high” in the form of a new relationship, I couldn’t help but feel a strong sense of compassion. Her candor is brutally honest in places, demonstrating that she is opening herself up completely for the reader. The desire to be wanted is something that is part of human nature.
The storyline shifts to give readers a chronological account of the writer’s struggles. Although a bit of editing might help with organizing the thoughts more effectively and smooth the transitions, the end result is still very powerful. The inclusion of her life as a child plays a significant factor in her struggles as an adult.
The author also addresses the concept of romantic vulnerability and provides examples to support her viewpoint that with love addiction, there is typically a lack of judgment.
What I gained from the book was a frank appraisal of what happens when you don’t love yourself. It was a painful story to read, but I know that there will be many readers who will gain strength from reading about the author’s struggles.