As she celebrates the launch of the first book in the Eva Prim Series Eva has taken the reigns of her blog tour. Today’s post is directed for any vampires who’ve been following the tour (and don’t think she doesn’t know that several of you have been). She’s been complaining about her inbox being flooded with snarky messages. Please remember, she’s only trying to help and don’t get her started!
Tips For Today’s Vampire
First, thank you to the lovely staff at Romancing the Book for hosting me (and Jordan, though this is really all about me). I’m very pleased to be here.
On this stop of my tour I thought I’d share some Tips for Today’s Vampire. You know it never hurts to have a little advice from someone who’s thinking about your well being.
First, let’s discuss oral care. I cannot stress enough the importance of oral hygiene. Well, hygiene in general is very, very important. But, one of the challenges of vampirism is maintaining fresh breath.
Let’s face it. Our diet is questionable, at least to humans.
So floss and brush your teeth, including your fangs. And gargle with mouthwash. But whatever you do, don’t drink it.
Drinking mouthwash will not, I repeat, WILL NOT guarantee you fresh breath. It will however, burn your throat from the back of your mouth down to your gut and you may see it again, if you know what I mean.
After you’ve finished up the oral hygiene routine (though, if you were dumb enough to drink the mouthwash, brush your teeth again.) get some gum. Sugarless gum. Mint-flavored will compliment the toothpaste and mouthwash routine and extend your fresh breath.
Don’t get the sugary kind it makes your breath smell funkier. Trust me.
If gum doesn’t help, you might try chewing a mint leaf or some parsley or possibly some rosemary (the herb, not the girl).
Now that your breath is under control let’s discuss that creepy vibe you’re giving off. Yeah, that part of you that’s making every single being, humans and vampires, give you a wide berth, that’s the one.
Tone it down. You’re not ever making friends with even one person if you keep giving off the freaky I’m-a-scary-and-powerful-
It’s not nice and nobody wants a friend who scares her.
You want to have a friend, don’t you? You know you do. If you didn’t you wouldn’t come to me for advice. So dial it back. You only need that creepy, freaky side when you’re in battle or at some weird horror convention.
Those 2 tips should keep you busy for quite some time, though if you’ve got any particular questions you’d like answered, let me know. I’m here to help you.
Today’s US prize includes a small tube of toothpaste, floss and a toothbrush, a pack of sugarless gum and an advance ecopy of The Vampire Hand Guide: Tips, Myths & Advice. It’s chock full of my helpful hints on how to get by as a vampire, what to do before becoming a vampire and of course, I take care of some of those ridiculous myths about us. International winners will receive the Hand Guide and more encouragement to practice good oral hygiene.
So, leave a comment. You know you need some more advice.
For updates on my books, me, my short stories and loads of other valuable items join my Snack of the Week Club at http://evaprim.com/
What’s a girl to do when she discovers her husband, who happens to be the Master Vampire for the New England Region, has been lying to her for, oh, say a hundred and eighty years?
Well, it all depends. If she’s accidentally released forty demons from some creepy old book, unintentionally announced the existence of vampires on The Internet, kidnapped a werewolf, enraged a lovesick vampire by stealing his approved mate, and attracted the attention of The High Commander for The Vampire Federation, not to mention gotten stoned and mastered the forbidden art of demon calling, she might be willing to call it even.
Or, she might plead her case at an Inquisition and hope like all hell, she isn’t staked before sunrise. Eh, a slightly busier night than usual, but nothing Eva Prim can’t handle.
A few years back Jordan received a copy of Twilight from her husband as part of her anniversary gift. By the end of that week she’d read the entire series and moved onto Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. Eight weeks and eighteen vampire books later the idea for her first book, Perpetual Light came to her followed very quickly by Eva Prim.
In October of 2013 The Demon Mistress, the first Eva Prim Novel is available along with four short stories. For continual updates on Eva please join the Snack Of The Week Club at www.evaprim.com.
Coming November 2013 Black Magic Rose, Book One of The Alliance Series. Join Jordan’s newsletter for updates.
Jordan is a member of the national Romance Writers of America organization and several chapters.
When she’s not writing about one vampire or another Jordan enjoys spending time with her husband, Ken and their lovable Labrador, Dino on the beautiful beaches of New England.