Review: The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women by Mikaya Heart


The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women by Mikaya Heart
Release Date: August 2, 2011
Publisher: Cleis Press
Page Count: 345 pages
Source: ebook provided by the publisher

Owning our desires should be neither embarrassing nor uncomfortable. Nor should they be subject to anyone else’s moral judgment of what is right or wrong, good or bad, normal or abnormal. Combining communication and information is the key. By shrugging off the taboos against talking about our preferences and experiences when we’re being sexual, we will take the first and most important steps toward ensuring our own fulfillment. The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women is an unflinchingly honest, responsible, and thoroughly comprehensive exploration of female sexuality. Topics include: The physical types of orgasm, such as electrical, flying, pounding, deep, waves, and blips; orgasm as an emotional release; the “elusive orgasm” and why some women have difficulty having one; how often we fake them and why; masturbation; multiple orgasms; the male-female dichotomy; penetration and the G-spot; defining the erotic; and the joy of sex toys.


Review: This was an interesting and very informative book. I had an expectation that it would be boring and written like a textbook, it was not. It is not a step by step how to book either. I found myself alternating between surprise and nodding in agreement. Some of the things that I learned have made me think quite differently about my body and my expectations for pleasure. It was very interesting reading the many quotes taken from interviews with people sharing their personal experiences, feelings and descriptions. I was not aware how different every woman’s body is and how we each experience sex and orgasm quite differently.

The book was broken down into chapters focusing on different aspects of women, their bodies, their emotions and spirituality. I did find that there were a few things that seemed repetitive but the information was relevant to the chapter. It helps to have an open, nonjudgmental attitude while reading this book. This was definitely written so that straight, bisexual and lesbian women were all involved in the interviews and the examples. Regardless of your sexual preference you would benefit by reading this. Some of the language used was a little strong, sometimes crude and could turn some people off, but it is worth reading. The author definitely tried to cover a plethora of information and did a fabulous job of presenting things with an attitude of open acceptance. So many women don’t discuss many of the personal and intimate details of our sexual selves. This book helped me to recognize that I wasn’t alone in some of the things I have personally experienced. It also helped me understand why some women don’t appreciate sex as much as others. One of the most important things that I am taking away from this book is that we must express our desires and needs. If we do not voice our needs and ask for what want in a loving but direct way we are preventing ourselves from enjoying one of the most pleasurable things our bodies, minds and spirit can experience.

Favorite Quote: Learning to love fully involves opening your heart. Opening your heart is not easy if you have learned to keep it closed to prevent experiencing pain and loss. You will experience pain and loss when you open your heart, but you will also experience the love, joy, and connections with other beings that make life worth living.

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